I have always been an incredibly driven person. Some may call it overbooked, too many irons in the fire, or overcommitted. I never saw it this way. I wanted to be involved in as many things as I could. However, I finally learned when you do that, the person who suffers the most isn’t those around you, it’s yourself. When you commit to too many things, the person who gets left out of the equation is yourself. I was prioritizing work first, and everything else behind that, and left myself for dead last.
This is what happened to me. I was working a full time job which I liked, but I was having to spend nearly 10 hours a week driving there and back, and I had a hard time saying no, even when it required working on nights and weekends. I wanted to make a difference, and was willing to do whatever was needed to make that happen.
However, that was only the tip of the iceberg. I was also freelancing for several publications including weeklys, monthlys, and bimonthlys. Then I had all my livestock. And being on a National Board. And a house to keep clean, meals to cook and laundry to do. I had hit my breaking point, and I wasn’t happy.
My first change was with my job. I liked what I got to do, but I didn’t like the drive, and I felt like I was wasted a lot of my life (and money for fuel) driving every day. So I approached the American Boer Goat Association with a position that I thought could benefit the association, and they agreed. I would be allowed to work remotely from home, which completely cut out my commute. While this was a major perk, the best part is that now I get to work in the industry that I am most passionate about – goats.
I get to think about and talk about goats all day. Now for some this might get old, but not for me. I get to attend shows and expos and talk goats with other producers, those interested in just getting started, and those who know nothing about goats. We talk genetics, reproduction, nutrition and current issues. It’s heaven for me. I also got to take over their magazine, which has been a dream come true for me. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for that publication.
My second change was to let go of some of some of the freelance writing I was doing. If it wasn’t paying back financially very well, if I wasn’t treated with respect, or if I felt it just wasn’t the right fit, I let it go. This included letting go of writing for a publication which I had written for every week for more than 3 years. It turns out this was the best decision I made, even though it was hard at the time.
I wasn’t getting paid very well for the amount of work I was putting in, and the stress made me irritable. Now I only write for a couple of monthlys and bimonthlys, and not only has my writing improved, but I actual enjoy writing again. It’s not just a job that I have to do to get by.
I also decided not to rerun for the board position that I was on. I did run for president, but had made the agreement with myself that if I didn’t get it, I wasn’t going to rerun for my current position, because I felt like I had become ineffective and that someone else would do a better job. That is hard to admit, but it’s the truth. Fresh people mean fresh ideas, which means progress.
I took up long distance running, which helped me clear my mind since I can only focus on the task at hand when I run. It helped me drop weight, which made me happier with my body, which improved my mood.
Working from home dramatically cut my stress level for my livestock, and I’m no longer worried about something going wrong when I’m not home. Now if it happens, I fix the problem, and can get back to working without getting an ulcer.
I also took up teaching at a university, which has always been a goal of mine. I was offered an adjunct professor/instructor position within the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University, teaching two online classes for the Master of Agriculture and Master of Agricultural Education majors. It’s been a great experience, and I can’t wait to see what opportunities lie ahead there.
For the first time in years, I was able to read on an airplane flight instead of working diligently on my laptop. It’s hard for me to remember a time when I did that. It was lovely. I very much enjoy reading, and am trying to make reading a priority.
Things aren’t perfect, yet. But I’m getting there. I hope to finally get my house organized this fall. I’ve found my stress level drastically decreases when I’m organized, and as I get older, having a clean house is more and more important to me.
I also hope to find some time for art. I used to love oil painting and drawing. The last time I picked up either was more than 6 years ago. I also used to love playing instruments, and it’s been even longer since I’ve done that.
I am still continuing to work on making myself a better person. I could be more patient, and I could be more flexible. I still get flustered in situations when things change unexpected (I like routine and planning), but I’m getting better.
However, the one thing I am absolutely sure about is that I’m happier now than I have been for several years, since I graduated from grad school. If that isn’t something to celebrate, I don’t know what is.